This time of year is very confusing for me. I'm not sure how I should feel and no matter what I feel, I always feel like it is wrong. My son was born this time of year and I love seeing him grow and love celebrating him. At the same time, my nephew was also born this time of year and that makes me extremely sad. Sad because my sister doesn't get to see him grow or celebrate with him each year. He was struck by a car and killed 3 years ago when he was walking home from summer school, at just 8 years old. I never want to get a phone call like that again, to hurry to the hospital because... It wasn't good. 

Children aren't supposed to die.

I remember trying to get to the hospital as fast as I could, probably going faster than I should on the backroads. I called my Dad. I was a little frantic, not knowing what exactly happened, if he was going to be ok, what to do if he wasn't ok. Thankfully, my Dad had the piece of mind to keep a calm voice and just said to "Be there for your sister." My nephew had already passed by the time I got there. I almost regret going in to see him, but I felt like my sister needed me there. The vision of him beat up, laying lifeless is permanently ingrained in my mind. The memory of my sister holding his delicate little hand is almost unbearable to have floating around in my memory bank and even now describing it, churns my insides and instantly brings tears to my eyes. And not just a single tear, flowing tears, the kind that are relentless and just don't stop.

I honestly don't know how my sister copes. I use the word cope because you just don't "get over" or "forget" a death like that.  I don't know how she gets out of bed each day. I'm am absolutely sure there are days when it is particularly harder for her to to do so, but the fact that she does and continues to do so like a Champion ever day makes her the strongest person I have ever known in my life.

The sad reality that my nephew is not the first nor will he be the last child to die is absolutely excruciating to think about. 

Maybe one day I will write more about that day, but for today, this is all I can manage. 

Hug your loved ones extra tight each night dear followers,

 So, back to our little critters for a brief moment. After Pyrite and Patron came home I became totally obsessed with Degu and finding some blue Degus. I was on facebook one day and came across a post from an individual that had a few litters unexpectedly and several were blue in color! I contacted the owner and he had a male and a female he believed would be perfect. The catch? They were all the way in Iowa and we would have to pick them up. I wasn't sure if my husband would go for it but I asked him if he would consider taking a road trip with me to pick up the two blues. His face actually lit up, he said that we could only go to Iowa to get them if we could stop at The Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa. 

DEAL!

We decide to turn our road trip into a mini vacation, rented a van, and took Koda and the oldest 4 kids with us. Before our deal was made, I had NO idea that there was a REAL Field of Dreams, I had seen the movie several times as a child but never knew that the place still existed. I was curious to see an actual place from a movie, myself.

The Field of Dreams was our first stop, before we picked up the Degus. It was a great place to visit and I actually had tears in my eyes watching from the bleachers as my husband and his oldest son threw a baseball back and forth from the pitcher's mount to home plate. It was just perfect. The site also had a nice giftshop as well as a tour you could take through the house that was part of the movie set. My husband and the kids went through the tour while I hung out with Koda outside. Across the field you could see construction in the background, they were in the process of building more fields and planned on hosting a Major League Baseball game in the future. Since our visit, those fields were complete and they did in fact host a game between the Chicago White Sox and New York Yankees on August 12, 2021. 

We had to travel a bit further into Iowa to pick up the Degus. When we met with the owner we all became instant friends and it was just such a pleasure to meet him and his family. The little Degus were exactly what I was looking for and I couldn't get over how tiny they seemed. They were the youngest Degus we had bought to date, old enough to be weaned from their mother but still so tiny. We briefly lost the male in the car at one of our stops, one of the kids left the door to their travel cage loose. Thank goodness they were both friendly, he was easy to find and easy to catch eventually. 

When we finally arrived home, we decided to think of names for our new babies. We settled on Rosemary for the female and Pepper for the male, keeping up with the R names for our females and P names for our males.

Rosemary was always the more skittish of the two and still is. She isn't afraid of people, she just prefers to be seen and now touched. She isn't mean and is not a biter, she just tends to be a little more work to catch if you want to take her out of the cage. When she arrived home she and Pepper were so small that they escaped their cages a few times. We aren't sure if Rosemary was left with males too long when she was with her previous owner or if her escape here was the culprit, but a few months after her arrival, she had a litter of 3 pups. I'll get to that story at another time.

Pepper is another of our very friendly males. He doesn't mind being out of his cage and held at all, he is just weird about trying to figure our how to climb into our hands. You kind of just have to grab him and then he is content with being in your hand. He is very chill and I believe our most "Go with the Flow" Degus. He and Patron currently share a cage together and get along famously.

I hope you have a fabulous day dear followers!

 From the day of our first date, on, my husband and I could not get enough of each other! At the time he was working second shift in a town 45 minutes from my house. He started seeing me every weekend he could and we would video chat on my lunch break, right before he went to work and then again before I went to bed which was when he was getting off of work. It was tricky but we made it work. I couldn't wait for the weekends and they never came fast enough.

My husband is a HUGE  baseball fan. He is also a HUGE Chicago Cubs fan. We had discussed going to see a game but figured logistically it would be easier for us both for travel, time, and money purposes to go to a South Bend Cubs game instead of trying to make it to Chicago. Little did I know that this plan had a major purpose. My husband decided to purchase us tickets for a South Bend Cubs game set for June 30, 2019.

This tickets were  just behind the visitor's dug out. We had a GREAT view but it was right smack dab in the middle of summer and SUPER hot. The game started and my husband seemed a little more bothered by the heat than normal, sitting at the edge of his seat. A gentleman approached us not too long into the game and told us that MY seat had been selected as the "Sweetheart of the game." They would call me up to the top of the dug out and do a quick video on the big screen between the 3rd and 4th inning. I'm not big on being the center of attention so I tried to pawn this off on my sister who was sitting to my right and then looked at my husband after she declined and asked him to take my place. They both pumped me up and said that I would be fine and to just do it, so I pushed down my anxiety and accepted my fate.

The third inning seemed to FLY by and as promised the guy came back and escorted me to the top of the dugout. I stood there while they did their big screen thing then noticed my husband climbing up to stand with me. I was so thankful, I figured maybe it was written all over my face how uncomfortable I was and he decided to come up for moral support. 

I looked at him and he started speaking to me about how I was this or that to him and then he got down on his knee. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on because I was so distracted by the whole "Sweetheart of the Game" thing. I'm not sure what was going on in my head but I didn't hear everything he said, nor did I allow him to finish his speech, because as soon as he opened the ring box I plucked the ring from its home and said yes and put it on my hand!

The crowd went wild, I smiled and then we got down from the dugout. That wasn't all though, he grabbed my hand and then pointed up the stands. He had purchased a row of tickets about 20 rows up and in those seats were our friends and family. They had gotten to see it all, first hand, and I never even knew they were there! Tears poured from my face, that meant more to me than anything. 

I hope you enjoyed my engagement story dear followers! Have blessed day!

August 26, 2018 I was scrolling through Farmersonly.com... YES, you read that right, I was scrolling a dating website. I saw a photo that looked really familiar, a man that looked very familiar. I switched tabs on my computer browser bar and opened up Facebook. I searched the name of a man that THIS photo reminded me of, sure enough SAME photo popped up. I immediately went to the message button and send him a message. 

From what I am told, he was shocked. He had looked me up a few times though the years, but never really thought to message me because my named changed and I was obviously married. So, to get a message from me now, after 15 years, was a shocker and totally unexpected. 

 I remember telling the gals at work the Prom story when his photo popped up while I was scrolling on our lunch break. At first, I was I still hostile about the whole thing and was going to scroll right passed him. I'm not really sure what drove me to message him, probably out of curiosity I suppose. Maybe it was a need to find out WHAT happened and WHY he never came back to me Prom night. Either way, the gals were encouraging and so, I put my big girl panties on and sent him the message above. Literally, that's what I said, after 15 years. It makes me chuckle now, but obviously it caught his attention, because we kept chatting, and chatting, and it was like I had never stopped talking to him. It was like I had just seen him the day before, except we had a lifetime to catch up on, instead of just going through how our week was going.

I was almost an hour late, something popped up that I couldn't avoid. I was just sure he would think I was standing him up and leave, but he didn't. He waited patiently for me at the restaurant and when I got there greeted me with a hug and smile. We talked non stop, like we were best friends. We both knew that night that this was the beginning of something special.